I SEE YOU OVER THERE
Wassup Y'all!!! It's been a while... but I'm here. :)
I was laying in bed this rising reflecting and this blog came to me and how I needed to use this platform as a form of healing & helping myself and others. So here we go....
Within the last few weeks, I have had some eye-opening experiences that have put
me on my ass to help change my course in life. One of the main things I want to focus this blog on is my anger & attitude.
Though I've come a long way with both. There's still more work to do. After a few altercations with family members & an IFA reading that dragged me for filth. I've come to realize that there was a need for some serious boundaries in my life. These altercations taught me that I have people in places they shouldn't be. But, because I chose to be blind to the chaos they bring; I opened the door to their chaos to rule and ruin my life.
Of course, we all know that our traumas start from childhood. Last night before bed My Ancestors led me to a book called Pussy Prayers by Black Girl Bliss. In short, this book contains rituals to help you open up to sexual and feminine wellness. Before she gets into any wellness rituals, there are
some questions that are called PRESSURE POINTS. These are just some questions just to get a starting point in where you are on your journey in your feminine divinity. The 1st ones are: "Who taught you about what it means to be a woman? When did you learn it and how did it make you feel about womanhood?". Now, to be honest, I didn't make it past that 1st PRESSURE POINT because I was triggered when I went to journal my responses. But, I wrote then anyway, put the book down and went ta bed!!!
Fast forward to this rising.
During that reflective mode, I begin to realize more and more that my past is of course the answer to all my current discrepancies. I begin to realize that I come from a family of majority women who were/are bitter, suppressed, and a whole lot more. It's no knock to them but it's the truth. A lot of times we don't get the healing we need because the people who harmed us normally won't accept the damage that was done & wants you to just "get over it" while they "think" they're "escaping" accountability. So that leaves us to have to distance ourselves or even cut off people who have affected us in traumatic ways because we know the truth and in order to live in freedom, truth must be present. It's hard to have to sit or live with someone that can't acknowledge the pain that they have caused you and they just up and move on with life like nothing ever happened. But if you take a closer look, they've never "moved on" they are in the same space but with different people each and every time. You just have to know what your truth is and move accordingly. I don't suggest being bitter or nasty. Just recognize that you and said person(s) are not on the same page, recognize where they are, and not let their actions affect you by putting expectations on them that they cannot fulfill. That's the easiest way to set yourself up for disappointment.
Ok! Now back to me & these anger issues. I'm used to women having fiery attitudes & that will lay you out at the drop of a dime! Even if you looked at them funny. Punishments were either beatings, being yelled at or some shit thrown at your head. So of course, what y'all think I was out here doing??? CORRECT!!!
ALL OF THAT!!!
Over the years and therapy, I have calmed down a lot. But now it's more of how my Grandmother was.... a walking doormat just trying to keep the peace. Between that and me needing to be a Vessel Of Love in this lifetime life has been a disaster that has taught me that TRUTH & BOUNDARIES are needed to successfully master this part of my journey.
So as I continue on, I will always remember:
Believe what I see in people (I ain't a High Priestess fa nuthin')
Meet people where they are & leave them there ( Don't try to bring them to where I am. I will fail each time.)
Love ain't bitterness or revenge.
( They already possess both. Why take up my time, energy & lower my vibration & block what's out there for me.)
Most Importantly, Take it ONE DAY AT A TIME. ( This involves me being centered and taking the time to do so.)
Until next time,
PEACE, LOVE & ASE'....I'M OUT!